Know Your Group Members, Vistage Fundamental #12

Know Your Group Members, Vistage Fundamental #12

Get to know your fellow members’ intimately, both their business and their personal lives.

Devote 5 minutes during each group meeting to get to know something personal about another member. When being the host, share intimate details about your business and personal life.

Steve Van Valin portrait
by Steve Van Valin

Culturology
steve@culturologyworks.com
484-364-1171

Vistage Brandywine Valley
Trusted Advisors 1298

 
Transcript

Hi, this is Steve Van Valin of Culturology. I wanted to congratulate Jim Lucas, our Chair, for being designated as a Master Chair and also receiving the Chair Excellence Award. Very well deserved. One of the reasons that Jim is so successful in leading us is that he’s identified fundamentals that really make a difference in the way we act together as a group.

I wanted to focus on this month’s fundamental, which is “Know Your Group Members.” This one is about “Getting to know your fellow members intimately, both their business and their personal lives. Devote five minutes during each group meeting to get to know something personal about another member. When being the host, share intimate details about your business and personal life.”

I don’t know about you, but I sort of struggle with this one from time to time, especially being an introvert. I don’t want to share personal things with other people. I think I need to challenge myself and maybe you do too about this idea of having a great divide where whatever happens at home stays at home. Whatever happens at work stays at work. Because aren’t we really one whole person? What happens at these places affects our entire lives.

I thought I’d share an interesting statistic from Blessing White, which surveyed 15,000 people to ask them what’s most valuable in their lives. It probably is not a big surprise that family happiness, this top line, came out well ahead of all these other values. All of these, you’d say, “Wow, they’re very important to me,” but family happiness absolutely rocked the list here.

If that’s true, why would we ever want to sort of check our lives, our personal lives, at the door, and say, “Well, hey now we’re at work. We can only talk about work things.” We all have our family as a tremendous gravitational force for the purpose in which we live our lives. It does impact us.

I wanted to show you also the context of how this particular fundamental affects our emotional intelligence. Just real quickly here, emotional intelligence, which was popularized by Daniel Goleman from Harvard Business School, has two capacities, personal capacity and then social capacity. In each one of these capacities, awareness I like to say leads to choices or ability to manage it.

If we look specifically at how this fundamental impacts the bottom one here, social capacity and social awareness, it’s about “Recognizing the needs of others with a heightened sense of empathy.” If we’re following the advice of this fundamental and sharing information and details about how our personal lives are going, guess what? We give other people more of the ability to recognize what’s important to us.

That awareness then leads to the ability to make good choices and how we manage that. So, “Choosing to interact and respond to others with positive influence.”

This was a really important reason why this fundamental makes a big difference is we give other people the ability to increase our emotional intelligence and influence us positively because they know those important things about us and those values.

I encourage you to give this a go. I’ll give it a better try myself. I look forward to talking about the next fundamental next month with you. This is Steve Van Valin with Culturology.

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